You’re Gonna Carry That Weight-Cowboy Bebop

My Quick Little Story

I remember last year my dad wrote me a note apologizing to me. He was apologizing for being a terrible narcissistic dad that broke his family up with his selfish ways. I forgive him long before that note came into life. I notice he was/is a lonely, miserable man with concerning health conditions that burned all the bridges in his life that would make him happy. He’s a man that grew up with an abusive father that torment him and his brothers. So, that’s going to play out in many ways, but it did not just break his own family; it broke him too because he was broke his. My forgiveness might have helped him out a little, but he has to forgive himself. Until then, he has to sit with what he did. My forgiveness was for me, not for him. …

Decision making is always based on circumstances and what they have observed throughout their history. I think Zat Rana said that on his substack website. The way to analyze decision making and to be good or great at it is true in that regard too. Voting can be looked at in the same way. The decision not to vote in this year is weird because of the circumstance but, I’d be lying to you if I acted like I didn’t understand why some wouldn’t vote. Historically, people have been oppressed through many presidents; why would you expect them to believe a switcharoo would change what’s happening to them. I’m not trying to make a point of voices matter and voting. I’m trying to help you understand how mindset can creep in some even my own thoughts on the power of it all. With the election coming to an end soon some are going be angry at others about not voting. Even though, presidents and their neighbors prove their nihilistic thoughts. …

One of the coldest truths is everything being sold is performative based. A large percent of activism is performative activism. Everyone wants to fit in, and no one wants to be seen as a villain. It’s not an elaborate mirage. It’s prodding at people’s competitive nature by using the thought their character is holier than thou. Also, it's throwing a community’s troubles in others faces for some type of reaction.

A very human problem

I hate to tell you you’re kidding yourself if you thought everybody cared about your dilemmas. It’s unfortunate, but it’s also the reality. In an era where we see everyone’s issues and every groups plight when the subject gains enough attention it’s not all going to good. So, that leads to people either manipulating a specific groups emotions or a fail attempt to help out or worst just looking apathetic. Once you get passed that, you have to understand how two natural distinction of dealing with emotions work (sympathy and empathy) and they effect the work of movements. …

I’ll cut to the chase. The conversation around the national anthem protest is silly. Colin Kaepernick took a knee during that moment to bring attention to our nation of oblivious citizens police brutality then, in return, he faced his consequences. A couple of years later, George Floyd dies when a police officer had his knee on him for 7 minutes, resulting in his death. So, as we know, time is a flat circle, kneeling in one way or another was going to bring our attention to police brutality.

But it also pinpoints how close-minded most of us are to something that is pretty apparent because we want to stick to a stiff and meaningless structure.

I’m not talking nonbinary in the sense of sexuality because that is different spectrum, but I am talking about in the sense of identity. Nonbinary makes a lot of sense to me because everything in life is fluent. Especially with masculinity and femininity since there aren’t mutually exclusive. Social norms have always been a lie, and forever will be. Men should have specific “man traits,” because whatever and women should have specific “women traits” because whatever is silly to me. Especially, since we’re measuring the two traits with hobbies and activities we both can physically do. I think that why people “struggle” to identify with their biological sex because we have oddly specific day-to-day things that we determine make you more man or woman. I have always thought I was a man because I have a penis. …

First, let’s listen to Vince Staples (One of my favorite rappers, stream his projects) on what black people sell.

Vince Staples: Black People Sell Trauma

To add what Vince Staples is saying what I have also thought we (African-American Community) have always wanted some sort of attention from white people. We want them to validate us, but they’re never going to do that. It doesn’t matter if you’re an uncle Tom, coon, or mister/misses afro-centric it all applies the same regarding wanting their attention. If you don’t want to call it attention,, we can say we want them to empathize with what they did. So in return, we do as Vince Staples’s stated and sell trauma. Trauma is like drama; it sells definitely when it makes one group look worst than the other. We think that gains their attention or their empathy because we think they care or don’t know. The trauma within the community and the one between white people or oppressors push many false narratives. To me, the biggest is actually with our relationship with them. They don’t have a concern for us at all, and they know dynamics at play. They’re not some, “Oh what, how did all these plights happen to y’all” the way they say they are, at least to me. …

This is how we operate on this side of the Atlantic; you either like it, love it, or leave!

. What happened in D.C. was the most dangerous group of people (ignorant, entitled white people) doing what they do it. I understand we’re supposed to act shocked and in awe but are we really. It feels like younger generations are finding out we might not be…equal. (shocked face)

I’m always confused by the fake philosophical socioeconomic race questions we ask like we don’t know the answer. So, white supremacists can riot into national monuments with help from the police?! Yes, they can. Police will show more force at a BLM peaceful protest than white supremacist rioting?! Like clockwork, they do it every time on time. They can do that about a vote but black people taking a stand against injustices is a problem?! It’s a time and place to talk about those injustices. That time and place to them is never. Is this how America is?! They literally brought people here in chains; this is pretty mild for them. I wonder how other countries see America?! Maybe, they see America the way you should, but I could be wrong. …

I did not write this to be a contrarian. I wrote this article because these are four problems I genuinely am confused about and don’t answer. These are my short, summarized thoughts on these problems as a whole. I’m not necessarily looking to find the answer as much as examing the contradictions or the problems' main problem.

1. The Need for Representation from the Media

I think at a certain age; we understand the entertainment industry. It’s an industry that gives the illusion of reality but makes it’s entertaining, which isn’t bad. Then there are times it tries to take us out of reality; either way, they’re not to be taken seriously. The celebrities have a marketing team, publicist, physical trainers, not to mention every piece of art made is meant to dramatize a situation. Knowing that, isn’t strange to ask them to help answer some of the world’s more profound, complex questions of identity and validation. It’s probably a me thing, but I like watching tv that’s gets me away from reality. Because…you know reality is cold and cruel, needing a reminder of that is odd to me. …